DON'T GIVE YOUR POWER AWAY

by Rebecca Kimbel

Most of the pain in our lives is caused because people are not doing things that would make us feel better. Maybe they are a parent, a lover or a child who will not do things the way we think they should or the way we want them to. People experience a lot of pain from unfulfilled expectations. Many expectations are real and justified and even if they aren’t, over time we convince ourselves that they are and we tend to hold onto our pain as if it were stock investments that we expect to pay off some day. We nurture it often, share it with those who listen and cripple our current reality with it. We let it keep us from living, loving and accomplishing the things that would bring us joy.

The depth of our painful dysfunction is in direct proportion to the power we have given to the person who disappointed us. It isn’t enough that they have moved on, they may be years or miles away, but if we are still giving our power to them by allowing disappointment to bleed over into our current lives and create dysfunction, they are still controlling us, not necessarily by their choice, but by ours. If we want our lives back we must take our power back.When we were born our survival depended on our parents. Many of us reach the age of becoming adults and still hold our parents responsible for our living conditions, our happiness and our financial disasters. Parents don’t necessarily agree.

It’s common for adult children to want all the freedom of being an adult but they really don’t want all of the responsibility. The pain parents and young adults experience can be minor or it can escalate into permanent family break ups.When expectations of lovers go array, we often see the aftermath of love turn to hate. Prolonged hatred brings on its own illnesses and dysfunctions. We see anger and disappointment kept alive and fresh long after lovers have parted. We emotionally expand that which we think about. When we think about it enough, we feel it again. What we feel we begin to express. Our expression becomes our behavior. We cripple or propel ourselves through the thoughts we entertain. We are not victims of our thoughts. We own them. They don’t own us. It’s a challenge to break bad habits, but you can do it.

Accept what you can’t change. Change what you can and get on with living and enjoying your life. You can’t drive forward by looking in the rear view mirror. Leave the past in the past. Never give your power away.

 

Rebecca Kimbel ~ Motivational Speaker

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