KILLING THE MESSENGER: by Rebecca Kimbel

My hope to cause expanded thinking, new awareness and more open acceptance and growth. We can not change what we refuse to acknowledge. All change comes from an understanding of what needs to be changed, a willingness to learn how to make better, rise above or deal successfully with a dysfunction. Nothing changes when we refuse to acknowledge the problem. We can not change what we refuse to see

There is a common misconception in the assumption that looking at, talking about or admitting that a situation is dysfunctional, somehow makes the person who acknowledges it, to be labeled as dysfunctional themselves. Hundreds of years ago, when a messenger brought unpleasant news, the solution for those who chose not to hear it, was to kill the messenger. In their denial they pretended the problem died with the messenger. Unfortunately even today, people continue to act as if denying, destroying credibility or by naming the messenger as low class and unworthy, will somehow eliminate the reality of the message itself.

Refusing to acknowledge the dysfunctions in our society only perpetuates them. Refusing to acknowledge or deal with the imperfections of reality has nothing to do with class and everything to do with fear. Those who can’t deal with the imperfections of their own reality are ill equipped to deal with imperfections elsewhere.

Abused people have commonly been blamed for their own abuse. They have been ignored when they attempted to get assistance and named as “lesser human beings” by those who would not acknowledge or deal with inconvenience, but problems don’t get solved until they are recognized. As long as we are in denial, the denial itself becomes a refuge for problems.

Dealing with dysfunctional situations does not require being cruel, judgmental or punishing. Punishment can be replaced by responsibility. Judgment can give way to education and cruelty can be replaced by kindness. Until we are mature enough to see all people as human beings with the same basic needs as our own, we will not have the humanity to reach out and lift them up instead of fearfully putting them down or worse, pretending they don’t exist.

People live the lives they know. Teach them a better way and they will have the opportunity to live better lives. We must improve their thinking to improve their lives.

Recognizing dysfunction is the first step to ward understanding. Understanding is necessary for effective change.

Change is an eternal law of physics. We can embrace the changes and grow with them or we can hide our heads in the sand and pretend that life won’t change if we refuse to see it.

By commission or omission, the choice is ours.

Rebecca Kimbel